Publication Date: August 12, 2025
A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance
Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite” on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.
Some of Dani’s stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other episodes explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she’s describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani offers gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani’s losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani’s candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.
Through a collection of essays, author Dani Alpert uses humor to illustrate the stubbornness of breaking into the entertainment industry.
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? offers 11 stories that could easily be used for open mic night at a comedy club. The subject matter ranges from her spontaneous trip abroad to the loss of her virginity.
The author notes that the truth might have been exaggerated to make a point or get a better laugh. The humor is clearly evident.
Rather than giving up her dream for success, the author explores a wide variety of avenues in hopes of making it to the big time. The Christopher Meloni reference proved to be amusing, for sure.
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? serves up humorous essays featuring the author’s attempts to achieve stardom.
Dani Alpert is the author of the memoir The Girlfriend Mom, winner of the 2020 Story Circle Network Gilda Award for comedy, honoring Gilda Radner. She spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. She is a Pilates instructress and an advocate for the Down syndrome community. Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot, taken after she was arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since.
