Life often seems like a sea… and we grasp onto things that drift past in order to help us remain afloat. One thing we cling to, as constants, are our loved ones.
We are born with parents, and the bond there is incomparable to anything else. We choose our friends, and some have a stronger bond than blood. A third bond, a very unique bond, is with our siblings.
Our siblings act as both friend and family. We were forged by the same fires of youth and circumstance, and throughout, we had each other to lean on. We have the same childhood memories, the same experiences, the same points of reference. As such, we have the same background. We are similar in ways that no one else can be.
Therefore, it goes without saying that if a sibling betrays you, it cuts deeper than almost anything else could. A built-in friend, a confidante, your blood. The knife they could chose to wield is sharper than any other.
While I was researching a recent article I penned, I discovered various historical figures that had slept with their sibling’s spouse. I truly cannot imagine that betrayal. Of course, you would be furious with your spouse, but your sibling. The one you were raised with, cried with, confided in. I only imagine that that betrayal would be even worse.
I think that a serious betrayal of any sort from someone you love is hard to manage. There are so many phases you must go through, much like grief, in order to process it.
First, I think it’s essential to identify your feelings, and give yourself permission to feel them. It’s okay to feel anger. It’s okay to feel grief. Give yourself time to sit with those feelings, and do it without judgement. Try to resist the urge of wondering, “Is this normal to feel?” You will experience the emotions that you experience. You can’t control what you feel, only how you react to them.
Next, it’s important to speak your truth. You’ll want to discuss with them how they hurt you, and how their actions impacted you. Every action has a consequence, and even if they don’t acknowledge what they’ve done, it’s important that you tell them. Human nature often prevents us from seeing outside of ourselves, instead, we only see what directly affects us until is pointed out.
So speak your truth, and just be aware that your feelings are valid, no matter how they are received.
In the end, it will be up to you to decide if you choose to forgive. It is your choice. It doesn’t matter if the transgressor wants you to forgive and forget, the choice is yours whether you do so or not. Only you will know if you are able to get past the betrayal. Just know, that even if you choose to forgive, you will likely never forget. And that’s ok.
A woman disappears into the dark city night…
Gen is on the verge of a divorce from her cheating husband. When her sister, Meg, has a convention to attend in the Big Apple, she invites Gen along to celebrate her newly found freedom. But the perfect sisters’ getaway quickly goes awry when a tipsy Gen defiantly throws her wedding ring off the hotel room’s balcony. Then, wanting some fresh air, she decides to take a late-evening walk alone and vanishes without a trace.
The investigation that follows uncovers secrets—and betrayals—between sisters and spouses that will twist the truth in on itself until nothing is clear.
What really happened to Gen and who, besides Meg, was the last to see her?
Courtney Evan Tate is the nom de plume (and darker side) of New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Courtney Cole. She spends her days dreaming up new characters and storylines and surprising plot twists and writing them beneath Florida’s rustling palm trees.